I want to be so many things

At midnight on a Tuesday in the spring I am sitting awake once again disgruntled by the mess that is my life. I complain a lot that I don’t have any friends and that the social life that I crave so badly is no were to be found. My life revolves around my work, my kids, my dogs and my husband, occasionally my house and all in that order. If you notice I am no where near that list let alone that socialization that I want. In the quiet nights ponderings between the feel good movie and the feel bad eating binge I realize that I cant expect to be a friend to any one because I am not a friend to my self. Wow that is a bitter pill to swallow …. I am miss do it all .. I get the job done …. I don’t need any body to do it for me..
Hmmmm……………….I think that is my problem right there!! I don’t need any body but me to do it for me! Problem--- I am not doing it for myself……! When I look in the mirror I don’t see who I am, I see who I want to be or who I could be. You might tend to think that that is the way to go about it but I disagree. I am not loving me, the true me. I am to wrapped up in who I am to love who I really am …the question ? Who am I ?
I don’t know………………………………............................................
I know all the things that I want to be or at least think that I want to be , and even then I’m not so sure because I want to be sooo many things.

I am going to take a trip to a place called me, population one. (sigh) kind of lonely here!
But that is about to change!
Things to explore
Religion - politics - hobbies- music- art- dancing- colors- food (in a healthy way)

How to do it
Daily challenges , road trips, alone time , meditation

The challenges
Define who I want to be
Define who I am
Be brutally honest
Discover who I am

Time frame
3 months (I know its short, but I want to get on to other things)